|FAQ table of contents
Registration is not required to view current topics on Wine therapy,
but registration is necessary if you would like to post a new topic
or reply to an existing message. Registration is free and
relatively painless. The only required fields are your User
Name (which may be your real name or a phony name) and a valid e-mail
address. Use of phony names is discouraged in general.
If you want to use a fake name, please clear it with the doghead
first. The doghead needs to be in on any jokes if he's going to
guide this group therapy in a mutually rewarding way. Unauthorized
phonies will be sent to the pound. Which is to say the doghead
will lock your patient profile if you don't clear your pseudonym
before using it. Further antiterrorism steps will be taken
information you provide during registration is not outsourced or
used for any advertising by
Wine therapy. If you believe someone is sending you advertisements
as a result of the information you provided through your registration,
please notify the aforementioned doghead.
find more detail along these lines on the privacy/policy-statement
page in the registration section of the forum. Remember, in
this context registration is just a way of saying hello, of introducing
yourself. You can lurk without signing in, but in the end
this is an odd way to socialize, isn't it? Would you go to
a dinner party (or to group therapy) and not say hello? Not
often, one suspects.
last thing: whatever you call yourself, keep the name reasonably
short so it can fit into the space the forum tables allow and don't
include your place of residence in the name field. There are
separate fields for those things. And supply a working e-mail
address, so the doghead can reach you in case of emergency and so
your chosen e-mail functions don't fail, bounce, and wind up in
the doghead's mailbox.
all you wine geeks think my posts are ridiculous, unworthy, stupid,
on there a damned minute. Who are you calling a wine geek?
the doghead can see you weren't looking for fisticuffs. Look,
people are people and dogheads are dogheads. You have no reason
to be afraid to talk with anyone, here or anywhere else. Some
of our patients know a lot about wine. And that produces its
own dysfunctional side effects. Others know precious little
about wine, though they may pretend otherwise. A whole set
of treatable problems comes along with that state of affairs.
But we're all here because we want to talk these things through,
and wine expertise is just one potentially therapeutic component
of the group's resources. All any of us hope for is thoughtful,
hate-minimized talk, about wine and other things, to help us to
find footing in the slippery mess in which we always already find
ourselves. Any support you can bring, and most
questions you raise and suggestions you make, are helpful and appreciated.
The very act of taking the time to share your time with us is valued.
that generously said, we may find your posts ridiculous, unworthy,
stupid, and/or boring. But that's most likely our problem.
And you're best served to view it that way, should the need arise,
until we help to bring you to a condition in which you can face
and lengthen your own shortcomings.
|Starting threads and responding to messages
Starting threads is easy enough. Within any forum you can click the new-topic link and off you go.
Only the administrator can add a new forum. If your treatment goals seem to require a whole new forum, consult with the doghead by e-mail.
within topics/threads are arranged chronologically by default and the whole thread is displayed rather than - as is common on usenet and some web boards - just header links. The advantage of this is clear messaging, easy cross-reference, and minimizing click-throughs and new-screen reloads.
Longish load times for long threads is a drawback. You may consider another to be that you cannot post a reply directly beneath the message to which you reply if that message isn't chronologically the last in the thread.
References to previous messages on this board are done by quotation rather than by physical placement. Next to each reply is a little string of icons. One of these icons opens a reply window with a quote of the relevant message already in its message box.
You may, of course, and should, trim down the default complete quote to suit your needs. This way you can reply relevantly and newcomers to the topic/thread can follow it in the order in which it developed. The reply-to-topic links outside the thread tables append replies without a quote to the end of the thread.
and other dopey props
You've probably seen smilies used before in e-mail messages or other
bulletin-board posts. Smilies are combinations of keyboard characters
used to convey an emotion, such as a smile
or a frown - much the way
humans use their natural languages like English and animals grunt,
yip, or squeal. This bulletin board automatically converts certain
text to a graphical representation when it is inserted between brackets
. Thank the Snitzen who did the base code for the forum; I
would not have bothered. I generally prefer writing out what
I mean to say, backward old goat that I am. All the same, some
of the images are attractive enough ("dead", for example)
and you'll see goats old and young using them. Feel free to
partake. Here are the smilies currently supported by Wine therapy:
There's more on images below in the next two sections, but the main
idea is that you need to link to images you store offsite. You
can't upload them to enemyvessel.com at this point. To post
an image to the board you need a complete URL pointing to the image,
as described below, and the board
will display the image and, if URL tags are included, make it a live
link. Most ISPs these days provide users with free web space
to store images. If yours doesn't there are free-space providers
out there for this purpose. Once you have an address for your
images, you can easily link the group to them.
a hyperlink in your message
You can easily add a hyperlink to your message, but it's not quite
therapy are using this BB software's safe-code functionality,
which is based loosely on HTML commands.
To add a hyperlink to your message you may, happily, just type
the URL (http://enemyvessel.com/forum/),
and it will be automatically converted to a live link(http://enemyvessel.com/forum/)!
The trick here is to make sure you prefix your URL with the http://,
https://, or file://. Follow this therapy link for more examples.
You can also add a mailto link to your message by typing in an
This data-entry example:
outputs this mail-link:
Another way to add hyperlinks is to use the [url]linkto[/url]
takes you home!
takes you home!
If you use this tag: [url="linkto"]description[/url],
you can add a description to the link.
Take me to [url="http://enemyvessel.com/forum/"]Wine therapy[/url]
Take me to Wine therapy
If you have a question [url="firstname.lastname@example.org"]e-mail
If you have a question e-mail
to format text with bold, italics, quote-blocks, etc. and to display
There are several Forum Codes you may use to change the appearance
of your text. Following is the list of codes currently available:
Bold: enclose your text with [b] and [/b]. Example: This is [b]bold[/b] text. = This is bold text.
Italics: enclose your text with [i] and [/i]. Example: This is [i]italicized[/i] text. = This is italicized text.
Underline: enclose your text with [u] and [/u]. Example: This is [u]underlined[/u] text. = This is underlined text.
Aligning text left:
Enclose your text with [left] and [/left]
Aligning text center:
Enclose your text with [center] and [/center]
Aligning text right:
Enclose your text with [right] and [/right]
Striking through text:
Enclose your text with [s] and [/s]. Example: [s]mistake[/s] =
Enclose your text with [fontcolor] and [/fontcolor]
Example: [red]Text[/red] = Text
Example: [blue]Text[/blue] = Text
Example: [pink]Text[/pink] = Text
Example: [brown]Text[/brown] = Text
Example: [black]Text[/black] = Text
Example: [orange]Text[/orange] = Text
Example: [violet]Text[/violet] = Text
Example: [green]Text[/green] = Text
Example: [limegreen]Text[/limegreen] = Text
Example: [purple]Text[/purple] = Text
Enclose your text with [hnumber] and [/hn]
Example: [h1]Text[/h1] =
Example: [h2]Text[/h2] =
Example: [h3]Text[/h3] =
Example: [h4]Text[/h4] =
Example: [h5]Text[/h5] =
Example: [h6]Text[/h6] =
Example: [size=1]text[/size=1] = Text
Example: [size=2]text[/size=2] = Text
Example: [size=3]text[/size=3] = Text
Example: [size=4]text[/size=4] = Text
Example: [size=5]text[/size=5] = Text
Example: [size=6]text[/size=6] = Text
Bulleted list: [list] and [/list], and items in list with [*] and [/*].
Ordered list (alphabetical): [list=a] and [/list=a], and items in list with [*] and [/*].
Ordered list (numerical): [list=1] and [/list=1], and items in list with [*] and [/*].
Code: enclose your text with [code] and [/code] to preserve its formatting.
Quote-blocking: enclose your text with [quote] and [/quote].
This really isn't a therapy issue. This group is no
different than any other internet site in this regard. To
enter accented characters, you need to access ASCII characters located
off the normal English keyboard. The easiest way to do this
in Windows is to hold down the ALT key while you enter a four-digit
character code, with a zero prefix and a number from 0 to 255. Most
of the international accented characters lie between 0181 and 0255.
In Windows, in your Accessories folder you'll find a character map.
Click on the character you want and check the status bar to see
the character code. You can then enter that character code
directly from your keyboard or copy the character from the map to
the browser window. Best to memorize the keystrokes necessary
to produce the accented characters you use often. Don't worry
about which font the map brings up. Whatever is the default
will have the same character set as what we use here.
works in a similar way. The issue is not what system
you use but what character set is recognized on the internet.
Wine therapy works in this respect the way most web sites
The forum software provides for the creation of multiple moderators
to control forums. In practice, the doghead is the sole moderator
for Wine therapy. Doghead may edit or delete
any posts, and shall do so in cases of violation of the board's
basic guidelines or by request of the author of the post.
If you have a question about a particular therapeutic regimen and
the iron hoof that directs it, ask the doghead.
your patient profile
You may change any
information stored in your patient profile by using the "profile" link located near
the top of each page. Just identify yourself by typing your User Name and
Password and all of your profile information will appear on screen. Then you may
edit any information you've supplied (except your User Name).
the last time you logged in, your User Name, and your Password (if
you set the Password-save feature in your preferences). These cookies
are stored on your hard drive. Cookies are not used to track your
movement, to gather information about you for government agencies,
or to perform any function other than to enhance your Wine therapy
If you have not enabled cookies in your browser, many of the forum's
time-saving features will not work. Further, you need to have
cookies enabled if you want to post a new topic or a reply.
So be a good patient and eat your cookies.
You may delete all cookies set by signing in to Wine therapy by selecting the
"Spring me" button at the top of any page. Leave yourself signed in, however, if you want display information like response-screen width to remain set to your preferences.
Active topics are tracked by cookies. When you click on the
"active topics" link, a page is generated listing all topics
that have been posted since your last visit to these forums (or
approximately 20 minutes).
You may edit or delete your own posts at any time. First sign
in at the top of the page. Then go to the topic where
the post to be edited or deleted is located and you will see an
edit or delete icon ()
on the line that begins "posted on". Click on this
icon to edit or to delete the post. No one else can edit your
post, except for the forum moderator or the bulletin-board administrator,
who happens to be the very same doghead.
A note is generated at the bottom of each edited post displaying
when and by whom the post was edited.
For security reasons, you may not attach files to any posts.
However, you may cut and paste text into your post and make links,
as discussed above.
for specific posts
You may search for specific posts based on a word or words found
in the posts, User Name, date, and forum(s). Just click on
the "search" link at the top of Wine therapy pages
and do what comes naturally.
posts and trade-member participation
Members of the industries and businesses relevant to the discussions on this board are encouraged to participate. Wine therapy asks that you identify your business connections when you discuss your own or competing products and that you resist the urge to plug your wares or cynically to use the forum for financial gain. Otherwise, professionals are patients too. More on this appears on the policy page.
|Will search engines index my posts or profile?
You may attach signatures to the end of your posts when you post either a new topic or reply. Your signature is editable by clicking on "profile" at the top of any forum page and entering your User Name and Password.
NOTE: HTML can't be used in signatures.
Wine therapy censors certain words for no good reason. Just because it can, really.
The feature is built into the software, but the functionality has been altered a bit to accomodate
our irrational whims. This feature may or may not be in effect
at any given time. Implementation shall be capricious. Words that
are censored are replaced with CENSORED. If you see this
in one of your posts, don't go nuts. Mellow out. Move on.
It's all for the best or it isn't but blind rage won't solve anything.
But try not to be unduly vulgar in any case. The doghead personally
(dogheads are people too) is fairly vulgar, but others may have
more sensitive eyes. Of course, our censor isn't likely to filter vulgarities.
for censoring for content, see the policy page, under the "Register"
link at the top of the page. If you've digested that, you
understand the board policy on post alteration and removal.
User Name and/or Password
Retrieving your User Name and Password is easy. All of the
pages that require you to identify yourself with your User Name
and Password carry a "Forgot your Password" link you can
use to have your User Name and Password mailed instantly to your
e-mail address on record.
notification and board-mail usage
When you create a new topic, you have the option of receiving an
e-mail notification every time someone posts a reply to your topic.
If you wish to use this feature, check the e-mail-notification box
on the "New topic" page when you create your new topic.
Wine therapy has various e-mail links (send to friend/enemy,
links in profiles) that allow participants to send e-mail directly
from the board. Just follow the instructions in the pop-up
windows. If you receive e-mail from the board, for antispam
reasons the sender's address will always be the doghead's, but the
reply-to address will be the actual sender's. Check to be
sure you reply to the right person, just in case your e-mail client
is a cranky one. All board e-mail contains in the body of
the message the e-mail address of the actual sender, which is the
address you should copy, if necessary, to your e-mail client's reply-to
line and use for your direct replies.
Note that you can't use either HTML or the board's safe code in
board e-mail. It only sends text, no code.
A jeebus is a social happening at which wine is consumed in either
an atypically natural way or in a quasi-depraved way. The term took
hold about 17 years ago at the suggestion of one of our moderators,
|Doesn't Callahan irrationally despise California?
Callahan? Who can say? The doghead likes California,
in large part, and enjoys going there to have good times with friends.
Once in a while the good times roll with the local beverages.
But the doghead has a problem with bad and mediocre wines, and there
are disproportionately many of those there. And they sell
for high prices and get good reviews all too often. So to
the uninitiated and to patriotic residents of the Self-Absorbed
State, it may seem as though some of the doghead's comments about
California wines are a wee bit harsh. But that's just the
harsh relief of reality. Most of the land in California's
most famous wine-growing regions is suited for everyday jug-wine
production at best, and avocado and cabbage and other production
in less-lucky cases. This isn't sad, it's just true.
a lot of the jug wine coming out of these regions is selling for
$100 a bottle. Or $30 a bottle. Or some preposterous
price. And wine writers with more marketing savvy than sense
praise them as though they somehow merit those prices. In
this context, admitting that some Napa star's wine tastes like a
$4 bottle of Chilean red given a fancy new-wood maturation with some
concentration techniques applied freely sounds like the Pope renouncing
Jesus. But the doghead can't help the wretched state of wine
criticism except by countering it. The doghead has no animus
against California or any other place (except perhaps for Ohio and
Michigan and maybe Houston, Texas and Orlando, Florida, but who's
counting?). Doghead likes and enjoys the relative handful
of really interesting California wines in the market, and tolerates
a slightly larger set of unpretentious, well-priced items that don't
The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act and Rule, in sum,
applies to information about a child that is collected online, such
as full name, home address, e-mail address, telephone number, or
any other information that would allow someone to identify or to
contact the child. The COPPA also covers other types of information
- for example, hobbies, interests, and information collected through
cookies or other tracking mechanisms - when they are tied
to information that could lead to children becoming individually
identifiable. More information can be found here.
But this board is not intended for children in any case. It's
intended for adults over the age of 18. Kids are welcome to
e-mail the doghead for guidance and support, but they shouldn't
be rotting their minds reading discussion groups like this one.
Go out and play! Childhood's too short to waste watching the
old make fools of themselves on line!
your own forum
The most recent version of the base code for this Snitz Forum can
be downloaded at this
web site. The doghead has modified the present copy, so
what you get from Snitz isn't going to be exactly the same as Wine
therapy in appearance or function. But all the essential
features are there - for free. It's as good a free program
as we have on the web, and development is ongoing. It isn't
perfect. The doghead found it needed significant rewriting
to make it work the way the doghead likes. Which has forced
the doghead to pass on a Snitz update that would overwrite the doghead's
heavy revisions. Life is hard. Besides, you have to
be a little nuts to go looking for the headache of running your
own discussion group and the money hole doing so creates.
But hey, it's your sanity. If you have some compulsion to
start a discussion group, give the Snitzen a close look.